“Maria Shriver: From Heartbreak to Happiness”…. The title at the grocery store till jumped out at me off the cover of the latest issue of the magazine, “Closer”. The caption further read, “The devoted mom of four shares she has “hit the reset button’ on her life, as she finally moves past the pain of Arnold’s betrayal and begins to date again.”
Of course, I was curious and had to read the article. Can you imagine your entire break-up being in the public eye?
You know how much it hurt.
You know how concerned you were for your children.
You know how humiliated and angry you were that you were mistreated or failed or, like Maria, were cheated on.
Arnold, public Knight in Shining Armor, not only for Maria but also for the State of California, fathered a child with their maid! I think she would have been embarrassed for him as well.
Surprisingly, I discovered that Maria used all of the principles I use in my book, “Never Give Up on True Love” to surrender to what had happened, learn from it and move on.
1. She found Solid Ground. (STOP and breathe)
The article’s by-line said, “Sometimes life throws us a whammy and we have no choice but to hit the reset button.” She saw things as they were but not worse than they were.
Maria faced the facts. Hers and her children’s hearts were broken and they needed to put those hearts into casts in order to begin healing.
Waiting a few days after the news was public, she asked for the media to respect her privacy for the sake of her children. Taking the time she needed to back up and re-group, she made no apologies.
2. She is Taking Care of Her Own Heart First. (LOOK)
Maria began to focus on finding herself and her own fulfillment. She went back to her purpose. I love this!
She recognized that her children are her No. 1 priority. Refusing to bury herself in self-pity, she delivered the commencement address at her daughter’s graduation within a year of her separation.
She accepted the opportunity to go back to what she was doing career wise, her passion. The Today show invited her to act as a special co-host for women’s issues in the workplace. She gratefully accepted the new challenge.
She is meeting her need to contribute by helping others. Her pain has given her a great foundation from which to do this, I’m sure.
Taking on the huge learning curve of how to develop an on-line media platform, she has also started, “The Shriver Report” and is now considered a digital journalist. Again, she has found a way to tap into her interests and to share them.
Friends say she is in a “good place”.
3. She is learning, learning, learning. (by LISTENING to her heart and building a new vision)
Maria has built a new relationship with Arnold. She says she will never go back to him but they have made peace.
I can imagine the only way she has been able to do this is by understanding what happened the best she can from both sides of their relationship.
She must also have recognized that he is not capable of giving her the love that will meet her needs. Surrendering to that fact does amazing things for you. Your ex-spouse becomes someone in your life but you no longer expect from him what he is not able to give you. You can let him go to be who he is.
The article also says that Maria wants to learn to love again. Though, I’m sure it’s for the sake of keeping it interesting, the author speculates that she is “dating” a long time friend. However, when you read carefully, you see that, as another friend states, “She wanted to start spending time with men she had known for a while and was comfortable with…Matt Dowd is perfect training wheels for her. He’s a great guy to just get back out there with no pressure, no expectations.”
Taking things slowly, it sounds as if she is learning as she goes, one step at a time. Good for her. She will find what she is searching for.
Now, how about you? You and Maria Shriver may be miles apart in lifestyle and fame, but her heart is a heart. It’s the same as yours and has the same basic needs. It was shattered just as yours may have been, man or woman.
Your steps to healing and happiness are the same:
1. Find solid ground: See things as they are, not worse than they are.
2. Take care of your own heart first: find what fulfills you and start focusing on that.
3. Never stop learning!
- learn what went wrong from an objective standpoint;
- learn how to forgive;
- learn to find peace;
- learn what it is your heart truly wants and go for it.
Now, tell me and the others who are in this “Never Give Up on True Love” community where you are on this journey.