Learn To Trust Your Heart Again / Rewriting Your Story

How To Find Your “I Am Enough” Confidence

Guess what, lovely lady? YOU are enough.

So stop telling yourself that he (whoever the “he” is/was) didn’t love you because you weren’t ENOUGH.

Not true. So not true.

That is just not the reason relationships fail. He left or went somewhere else or you left him because, very simply, neither of your needs were being met in the relationship.

What’s at the bottom of that?

Most of the time, it’s FEAR. That old friend – FEAR. Yes, it’s our Protector.

And your man’s Protector, too. You may have been surrendering to internal rules that told you to hide or to act a certain way so you wouldn’t be hurt again.

He may have been reacting to the BIGGEST FEAR men have – that he isn’t enough, either. That he couldn’t make you happy. Or he may have been so broken, that he felt the need to control everything in order to be reassured that he was enough. That had to look a certain way including how you acted or who you were.

Bottom line is that you have come to a place in your life where you consciously or sub-consciously believe that it’s you. And you wonder if there will ever be a man out there who can love you just as you are.

The answer is “Yes” – there is a man out there who is looking for someone just like you.

Time to call out the “REAL YOU”.

O my goodness! The beauty you have inside of you is amazing.

I want you to find her. That Diamond Beauty.

I want you to not only find her, I want you to let her be the one who shines.

All that you have been through has created a wisdom in you that is phenomenal.

Beneath the anger.

Beneath the insecurity.

Beneath the doubt.

Beneath the cynacism about men…and love…and ever finding it.

Go beneath it to the CORE. Like the inside of the earth. That place that is in the sweetest, most delicate, strongest part of your heart. You know it. It’s most likely hidden but you know it’s the part of you:

…who won’t take being bullied.

…who comes out when you are pushed into a corner.

…who knows ANY MAN would be so blessed to have this part of her loving him. He would be THE luckiest man on earth.

She’s the gold that has been refined in the fires of life.

She’s the Diamond that has emerged from the heat and pressure from all the ways life has tried to stamp her out.

She’s the Warrior who welcomes FEAR as a Protector but uses it as a Guide, not a lock-down.

How you Find The “I Am Enough” part of you…

If you haven’t already, start a “Strength Journal”. Or re-name your current Journal to now be your “Strength Journal”.

This is where you are going to write down all the ways that YOU ARE ENOUGH. At the top of every page for a week straight, use this heading: “I AM ENOUGH”.

Each day before you start, put your hand on your heart and find the pulse of the Diamond, the Gold Woman inside. Feel her. Say hello to her. (Yes, like she’s someone who has been there all along but you haven’t acknowledged her. A real person.)

Now, I want you to begin receiving something – like a gift. Begin to list all the ways that you are enough when you are letting her come to the surface. Use the picture attached here for ideas if none come to you at first.

Do this for 7 days straight for 10 minutes a day. New page each day. Repeat what you’ve written if that’s what comes to you but you’ll be adding new thoughts every day.

The next 7 days: Re-read what you’ve written. Over and over. Start reading out loud. Add more – and more will come to you – as you will begin to catch more glimpses of this amazing person showing up more often in your life.

The next 7 days: Re-read what you’ve written as you look directly into your eyes in the mirror. Yes, you feel a bit silly at first. But do it anyway. You’ll get more comfortable.

Read this list AS IF it’s your Diamond Beauty speaking to the other more fearful sides of you. Use these 3 sentences:

I am proud of you for how you are enough. You ________________ (read some of the list).

I forgive you for hiding these parts of you because of ______________. List what you have been afraid of.

Then finish by saying to that lovely heart you are talking to: I commit to you that this is who you are going to be – your Diamond Beauty – from here on in.”

Ok – let’s get started!

Believe me, this is life transforming.

I have done this. I have felt my Diamond Self emerge. I even have a name for her. Mine is just that: “Diamond Beauty”.

But others have named themselves “Goddess of Light”, “Powerful Princess”, “Loving Linda”, “Eagle Esther”. This is incredibly POWERFUL for you.

Remember, never give up!

I believe in each of you. You ARE enough!

Author

bernice@bernicemcdonald.com
My passion is to walk you back to a place of passionate love after divorce. I have loved to write, to coach, to train the past 10 years, so that your heart can love again - powerfully, strongly, softly and openly. I found my over the moon, never leave me love. You can, too.