Learn To Trust Your Heart Again / Taking Care Of Your Own Heart First

Is Protecting Your Heart Actually Hurting You?

Is there anyone who really “gets” how broken your heart really is from your past relationship(s)? How scared you were – and are – of being alone, of maybe never finding love – real love with a really great guy? Does anyone know?

We start building our wall around our heart by hiding these exact feelings so that we don’t look pathetic or weak or like our old divorced aunt who was a man-basher right to her death bed.

You get what I mean?

Let me say this. Been there. Done that. And wish we could make tee-shirts that say, “Be patient with me – my heart is broken but I’m working on healing it” so there would be some awareness that we are not totally OK yet. It would be like a permission to “be in progress”.

When it comes to trusting again…

You. Have. Choices.

Your love life has not ended. Your worth and your value are not over.

You do not have to DESPERATELY fight for a man’s attention just to have a man (like a Tigger) OR withdraw from everything (like an Eeyore).

IF you think that THIS is your life for the next 15, 20, 30 years…then you’re stuck. And this kind of “stuck” is why you are suffering.

You think you have no control over your future. And you believe the Path you’re on is the only one available for you.

Please hear me out because, if this kind of thinking is ANYWHERE in your head, you are wrong.

Remember: happiness is as simple as making progress. And progress is taking small steps that are leading you somewhere.

Whether or not you realize it, you are taking small steps every day that are leading down a Pathway that is going to end up at a destination.

Which destination are you going for?

DESTINATION #1: Alone and Lonely.

This takes small action steps every day. You may think that you’re protecting your heart from being hurt again but, really, you are building a huge wall around your heart brick by brick.

These steps can look like this:

  • Loneliness shows up but you shut it off.
  • A friend starts dating someone and you feel the longing to find that, too, but you rationalize it quickly away.
  • You’re only 2 chapters into that healing book you found 6 months ago that you knew could help you.
  • You keep rehashing the end of your relationship to the point where your friends are tired of hearing you talk about it and almost avoid you now.
  • You have settled for another man who treats you the same as your last one did. Same guy, different face.

Keep on making these choices and guess where you will end up?

Frozen in time just like you are today. And pushing all the passion and sense of adventure out of your life.

DESTINATION #2: A Diamond Woman.

Radiant. Confident. At home with her life.

Tiny steps in this direction look like this:

  • Reading that heart healing book and taking responsibility for your own heart, seeing how your vision may be skewed.
  • Learning to give others some room to be who they are.
  • Facing fear and finding ways to shrink its influence in your life.
  • Finding a hero mentor who has what you want and realizing that many of the steps she took you can adapt for yourself.
  • Testing the waters of new love armed with a new approach, new words, new attitudes.

Keep on making these choices and guess where you will end up? 

You will be a Diamond Woman who lives from a place of S.O.F.T.:

S = Strong on the inside
O = Open to life and love
F = Feminine
T = True to herself

This is living your life filled with courage, confidence and an appreciation of your own, unique beauty.

You sparkle…and laugh easily. You have found good men showing up because you know how to pick them out and you were watching for them.

Don’t you want this???

Think about that future woman down the road.

Where does she end up?

THIS is the time to be taking steps in the direction you want to go because every action you take (and doing nothing is an action) right now matters down the road.

Lovely lady – YOU are worth the effort it takes to put yourself into the driver’s seat again and FEAR into the back seat. The first step is always the most difficult but it gets you rolling!

What do you think? Which Path have you been choosing and why do think that is? Leave me a comment below.

Let’s figure it out together. Let’s create a Trust Again Breakthrough Strategy. It’s what I do and what I’ve helped dozens of women do.

Let the call be your FIRST STEP toward a future where you CAN BE SO PROUD of the choices you have made.

Author

bernice@bernicemcdonald.com
My passion is to walk you back to a place of passionate love after divorce. I have loved to write, to coach, to train the past 10 years, so that your heart can love again - powerfully, strongly, softly and openly. I found my over the moon, never leave me love. You can, too.