Waking up can be so hard. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, when you come back to consciousness, the memories come slamming in again. And you remember.
It’s as if it’s for the first time. And all the feelings come pouring in. WHAT YOU DO NEXT IS CRUCIAL!
What you choose to focus on in this day is where your mind will go – all day, every day.
And what do divorced women USUALLY FOCUS on (well, actually, all human beings everywhere)?
1. All the loss
2. All they now have less of compared to what they would have had if this hadn’t happened.
3. All they will NEVER have now that they’re in this situation.
Where does that put you for your day? What do you think? It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it?
A state of sadness. Depression. Negativity. Hopelessness, Fear. Resignation. You have your “go to”, I know. I did.
Is this the Pathway to your Sun Room or is this the Pathway to nowhere except to go in circles within your Waiting Room? It transforms your Waiting Room into your home instead of into a temporary location for you.
You HAVE TO take action in order to find your way OUT of the Waiting Room.
Here’s what you do when you wake up and go to the pain…THIS is action. It’s called the 90 SECOND RULE
1. Let it sit there for 90 seconds. Feel it. Feel the weight of it, the sadness within it, the regret, the fear. 90 SECONDS – watch the clock…
2. THEN say to yourself, “I am NOT going to be THAT WOMAN who lives in THAT PLACE all day…”
3. ASK YOURSELF an empowering question – you choose it for yourself: “What am I going to do about this today?”
“What am I learning through all of this?”
“How am I going to create a future I love?”
Don’t leave those questions hanging – look yourself in the eye in the mirror and answer one of those questions as if you were your very best “you”…
4. REINFORCE who you want to be by doing something kind, shower a bit of love over someone immediately. Send a text. Hug your child. Write a card to give away. Determine that you are going to do something above and beyond without being asked at work today.
This process does not have an endpoint EXCEPT TO EMERGE AS THE BEST YOU THAT YOU CAN BE. Someone you are proud of. Someone who lives by her values rather than her pain and blame.
Let me know what you think of the 90 Second Rule below in the comments. Hugs to YOU today!