Rewriting Your Story

The Secret to True Love

It’s been awhile since I have written.  I am proofing the 3rd revision of my e-book, “Never Give Up On True Love”  The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and to be loved in return.  It needs to be the best….for you. From my heart to yours.  See below for one of the secrets it contains – the secrets that brought me the greatest love I’ve ever known.

“She’s so clingy!  Why can’t she back off and be happy?”

“He’s so controlling!  Everything has to be his way.”

It’s all about the heart.

free_hugs_c_00

It’s always about the heart – that mysterious place inside where most of us want someone to go even though we’ve never been there ourselves.

“Love is all we need…” the song repeats over and over.  Each of us have our own individual definition of love and that definition is, to be honest,  heavy on the receiving end. “Come shower me with time and attention – my way.”

Ironically, Heart, it’s the opposite.  Real love comes only when we begin to focus on knowing the heart of the one we love.

I learned this the hard way – divorce.   As a Broken Heart Coach, I have observed it in crushed singles and struggling couples.  The heart has “needs” and we all want them met or we shut down.  Six needs, in fact, the first four being top priority if you are breathing .  Need for:

1.   Certainty (comfort, avoiding pain)

2.  Variety (fun, challenge)

3.  Significance

4.  Love/Connection

Everyone on the planet with skin on, yes, even you, strives to meet these needs, in positive ways or negative.  And the expectation when we fall in love is that they will all be met…..at last.

Now for the real secret of True Love – Giving:

5.  Need for Growth

6.  Need to Contribute

Everything that isn’t growing is dying.  We give to ourselves by learning, learning, learning about life, about the one we love.  And we flourish when we give out of a heart that desires nothing in return except to see someone else light up.

Exchange needs 5 and 6 with the Number 1 and 2 spots in your life….and you will find your heart.  You will find abundant fulfillment and, I might add, true love.

 

 

Author

bernice@bernicemcdonald.com
My passion is to walk you back to a place of passionate love after divorce. I have loved to write, to coach, to train the past 10 years, so that your heart can love again - powerfully, strongly, softly and openly. I found my over the moon, never leave me love. You can, too.