There is a man that you are are going to have to come to terms with.
He is someone you wanted to love you. He maybe even said he could. And you believed him.
He may have had a lot of the qualities you wanted – even needed in someone. And, because you did see so much potential in him, you let a couple of things you DIDN’T like slide.
Maybe you think he was hiding them but, really, the signs were there. And you know you ignored them. Justified them. Pushed them aside thinking you would just bring out the best in him all the time by making him feel loved and accepted.
What happened in the end? The divorce. Or heart-rending break-up.
He just couldn’t love you the way you needed, could he? And you began to get angry calling it irresponsibility and self-centeredness.
You started to demand things. And take control. Resentment built. You boiled underneath that he wasn’t being the partner you thought you said he wanted to be.
But, really, you’re hurt.
Hurt because he doesn’t seem to care about what you need, Or who you are. Or what you want.
Eventually, he accused you of being impossible to please. Or told you that he didn’t love you anymore. Or had found someone else who “understood” him. The PAIN is indescribable.
This is the “Tree Stump” scenario. If you were to walk up to a tree and ask that tree to hear you, to see you, to be someone who cares about you, would it be able to?
No. It’s a Tree. It may be a fine tree but it isn’t the one who can love you. It wasn’t made for that.
The man who walked away or who you had to leave because he was hurting you or rejecting you or making you crazy…may be a good man in many ways.
But if he’s not someone who could be there FOR YOU as you needed him to, you have to accept that.
Just as you would the tree stump who can not love you back.
Let him go and be who he is. And let your heart be disappointed, sad, even angry for about 90 seconds. Then realize that there is something better – real love with someone who CAN love you back – IF you begin preparing for what you need.
YOU are lovely in so many ways.
You have buried that beneath your defensiveness, your fear that you’re not enough and your deep disappointment that you have to start again. But it’s there – your beauty. Find that.
Find what lights you up and then start taking steps to be “Open To Love Again”…
Let the tree stump go to be the tree stump it is.
Talk soon. Keep walkin’!