Questions of a broken heart: When did we start going down hill? When did our love die? When did we start hurting each other more than we focused on loving each other? When did the romancing stop?
Whether you are longing for that man or woman in your life to fall in love with you again or trying to move on after breaking up, if you are going to find love in the future, you do have to discover the answers to these questions.
But first, answer these:
When did you stop dancing?
When did you stop singing?
When did you stop being enchanted by stories?
When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?
I loved these questions when I saw them posted on Facebook as an antidote to being disheartened, dispirited or depressed. Deep inside them is such a simple truth – when did you let your heart die?
It’s always about the heart.
- When did you stop dancing? Those who are full of joy dance! Imagine yourself as a little child where no barriers existed and you would move whenever you heard music playing. Find that child inside you again, put on your favorite music, and dance yourself to exhaustion! Let it lead you into joy! Pretend you are being held in the arms of someone who loves you to distraction! Dance in the middle of the grocery isle. Dance in the moonlight with your lover while your song plays on your car radio. Dance while you are cleaning your house. Don’t worry about the steps or how you look – do it by yourself, for yourself. Just feel the music and dance!
- When did you stop singing? Singing usually stops when we realize we don’t have that great a voice. But it isn’t about your voice, it’s about your heart. Don’t plan to stand up on stage, just sing in your car, in the shower, while you’re out walking your dog. Everyone listens to music where ever they go these days so plug in your favorite singer and your favorite words and sing – let the music lead you to cry, to swoon, to dream, to hope…. sing!
- When did you stop being enchanted by stories? Cynics stop enjoying stories because a cynic is filled with criticism rooted in hurt. Stop that now! Let your imagination soar as it did when your favorite teacher was reading that captivating book to your 4th grade class. Leave the horror and suspense behind once in a while to lose yourself in a story about heroes overcoming villains and love conquering all. It creates magic in your life. Why? Because good stories like these are the true picture of what life is about. Good winning over evil. Love being what lasts. Have you lost that? Then you have lost your heart. Go after it again!
- When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence? Silence – so frightening to many of us. We are constantly surrounded by noise. And that can be comforting because it keeps us from having to face what is really going on inside us. Force yourself to be quiet and just sit. Yes, it’s hard. You won’t like your own company at first. But do it. By a stream. On a park bench. In your living room when everyone else is asleep. Just listen to the quiet and let your heart speak to you. Don’t be afraid of what it is saying but rather, put your arms around it and reassure it that you are going to find answers, be ok and find a better future. Write everything it is saying down, good and bad. And then start regularly taking time to do this again. Soon you will love it.
Life is tough. Anger, bitterness, attacks against you will destroy your heart.
The only way to battle them is to keep your heart alive.
And the only way to keep your heart alive is to stay in love with it –
To know yourself so well that no matter what happens, you can get back up – stronger, wiser, deeper.
And then, you have a better perspective. You set better boundaries. And you live as a strong individual not dependent on outside people or circumstances to be your happiness.
So, learn from the past and let it bring hope to your future. And from now on, dance…..
This is what I love to do – coach you to the other side of a broken heart. Contact me at or visit my website at www.hopesourcelifecoaching.ca