The saddest thing is when a woman stops letting herself be a woman.
I love all the talk lately about getting back to being feminine. Many of us, due to having to learn to be independent, have shoved our softest qualities down deeply or we have been told that crying is weak and manipulative so we have toughened up and refused to cry.
Tears are not a weakness. Tears are essential to finding and expressing your heart. When working with clients, close friends, family, whoever, I love it when we get to the tears. It’s a sign that at last we are reaching something real. Tears are beautiful.
I have recently been reading blog articles by Renee Wade, a young entrepreneur who calls herself, “The Feminine Woman”. I enjoy much of her approach to being a woman. Here’s what she says about tears in a recent article. I liked her title so much that I modelled mine for this post after hers (I fully admit I did this – she is a genius with titles).
“If you’re not crying regularly, something is very wrong and inauthentic; and I mean wrong in the context of your relationship with yourself and your relationship with other humans. Here’s why: The ability to cry — in pleasure or pain — shows how alive and responsive you are.
The practice of crying (or at least regularly feeling loss, or any emotion that you know you habitually avoid), is a powerful place to be, because it means you’re present, not dissociated or numb. It means that you’re on the ball, and able to make good decisions informed by your body — because your body doesn’t lie to you — as opposed to decisions informed through the stress of “over-thinking” them.
Crying shows how open you are, and how open you are is proportionate to how many genuine men you attract into your life. Not just men, but friends, too. It shows how open you are to what’s real and raw. It shows how open you are to your feelings.”
How many women I have met who have hardened themselves into a place where they don’t cry. For some it’s like a badge of honor. For some, it’s simply because they don’t want to feel vulnerable. On the surface they want to appear all put together and in control. Not crying is one way of appearing that way.
Let me tell you why you need to cry:
- not to cry is to build a high wall around that precious, beautiful place inside you called your heart
- to build a high wall around your heart is to shut down your feelings
- to feel is to be alive
- to deny that you feel is to shut yourself down and start to die while you are living
What makes you irresistibly attractive to a man is to be fully alive in every way! That includes being able to let your feelings out.
Renee goes on to suggest that you purposely use 15 minutes every day to simply “feel” your emotions. I think it’s a great idea. That’s how I began to live in the “now” instead of in the pain of my divorce.
Walk in the sun and FEEL its warmth on your face. It’s as simple as that.
Hug your grandchild or your child and FEEL how good it FEELS to have your arms around someone you love.
Clean up a mess that’s been bugging you in your house and FEEL how good it is to have finally completed it.
To open your heart is to FEEL. And to be able to feel is what makes you alluring to the man of your dreams. Even though men complain of not understanding women and their emotions, what will draw a good man to you is, yes, your openness to feeling. It creates a light from the inside that sparkles out of your eyes and is mesmerizing.
Would you please leave a comment below and let me know how you “feel” about this… I would love to hear.
O yes, I highly recommend you go and read Renee’s article here: Why It’s OK (and Even Attractive) For Women To Cry Any Damn Time.
You will enjoy.