As I work with women, coaching them as they rebuild their courage, confidence and a renewed sense of their BEAUTY, one thing surfaces over and over…how do I know he’s the right one?
Well, you have to begin dating. That’s a given.
BUT you keep your eye out for certain qualities in the first 3 dates (yes, you give a guy that many, at least, unless he definitely creeps you out).
Here is the criteria that I find to be a very simply summary of what to look for (thanks to Dr. Diana Kirschner, author of Love in 90 Days):
Is he crazy about you?
Does he pursue you?
Is he eager to see you and reluctant to leave you?
Is he interested in you when you talk to him?
When he asks a question, does he listen to the answer?
Does he hear it when you say what you prefer or how you feel and pick up on that?
Is there a strong connection with him?
Does he offer his help?
Is he growing?
Does he seem to be interested in his own personal development?
Does he talk about what he has learned in any way?
Is he closing his Back Room Door by coming to terms with what has happened or does he still seem angry over the past?
Has he spent time with a counselor, coach or talk about reading a book that helped him or podcasts that opened his eyes in some way?
This is KEY to knowing that he is going to be able to move forward with you in building an Over the Moon, Never Leave Me Love.
He has to know himself and take responsibility for his own character.
Does he meet your “basics”?
So here is where you refer to your “Perfect For Me Man” Deal Breaker list and Would Be Nice list. It makes sense. Why start something with someone who FROM THE START doesn’t have what you need.
These are the things that couples hurt each other over once the Romantic Phase of their relationship has passed.
Is he a good guy – reliable, tells the truth, cares about others.
Does he want what you want?
If you want him to be financially sound, is he?
Does he like kids and would be willing to accept yours or have more? (you will sense that as you talk)Does he live close by or is he willing to move? Or are you?
Does he share your faith or is he searching and willing to talk about yours?
These kinds of things are so crucial, beautiful ladies. Don’t get caught up in the charm and mesmerizing way you feel around him and let yourself “explain away” the pieces that really don’t fit.
This is your love. Your heart.
You deserve the best this time around.
And being the Diamond Beauty inside you, stepping out as the Strength in you that has come from all you’ve been through is truly the pathway to finding that Perfect For You Love with that Perfect For You Man.
Find a Mentor.
The best thing you can do is to find a friend, a close relative, someone who knows and cares about you and ask them to be your Love Coach.
You can talk with them about what you are looking for and then ask them to help you as you bravely step out (if you haven’t yet) and begin to enjoy dating.
It can be fun. And freeing. The word is “amazing” to be taking back the power in your life. Not to mention, MOVING TOWARD A DREAM LIFE with a man who gets you and cares for you.
It was my own mentor who challenged me to take my 6 month Sabbatical from dating so that I could just breathe and heal my heart. Remember, I was a leaper, a “Tigger” who jumped from one relationship to the next with men who were carbon copies of my ex. Ouch!
I needed to slow down and think about who I was and what I really needed. My mentor was in my life for just a short time to help me do what I intended to do all along but couldn’t seem to make happen all on my own.
And it made ALL the difference. I look at my husband sometimes and am still in wonder at how he checked off every one of my serious needs in a relationship. I fear I would still be stuck in a round about of frustrating men or would have given up by now if I hadn’t had someone to bounce things off of and keep me on my own straight and narrow path.
THERE HE WAS! And I was ready to open up to him in all the ways that were important. He fell into my heart. And became My Home.
I am here for you, too, if you would like someone who is experienced at the Journey. I can certainly show you how anything is possible if you don’t quit and if you go about it in the right way. That right way is to make every intention possible to stand up for your own heart. ❤️
Supporting you as you do this IS what I do.You can book a free hour with me to get you started and to assess if you are even ready to start learning to trust again. Check it out here: https://FindYourTrustScore.as.me/
Use the Criteria
At the very least, Beautiful, attract the one who will love you with all his heart by using these 3 Good Man Detector criteria.
I wish you joy and a heart overflowing with everything you need!