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You’re Only A 90 Second rule Away from Brave

Ever had a moment where one tiny thing—an email, a comment, a pause—derailed your whole day?

Woman in athletic gear smiles confidently, arms crossed, with text "90 seconds to BRAVE" overlaid. Blue-gray background.

You’re doing just fine… and then one thing happens and suddenly you’re a basket case.


You try to push it away, keep going, keep smiling—but that wave of emotion owns you.


I know that feeling. It’s fear - 

…fear that what they’re saying is true.

…fear that you’re a failure.

…fear that your Grade 9 teacher was right - you’ll never be anyone.


For a long time, fear ruled my life. 


It didn’t just whisper doubts—it shouted them. It hijacked my body, my thoughts, my plans. It told me to stay small, stay silent, stay safe.


And I believed it.

Until I discovered something so simple—and so powerful—it stopped fear in its tracks.



It’s called the 90-Second Rule.


The first time I heard this idea, I was stunned:”Fear, sadness, shame, anger—those intense emotional chemicals only last 90 seconds.”


Neuroanatomist, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, brought it to light in her 2008 TED Talk . She explains that, “when an emotion is triggered, the associated chemicals surge through the body, and the physiological response is complete within 90 seconds.


If the emotional response continues beyond that point, it's often due to continued mental engagement with the trigger, rather than a chemical reaction.” 


In other words, after 90 seconds, we’re the ones keeping the fear going by feeding it with our own thoughts.


This insight changed everything for me.


It meant I wasn’t broken. It meant my emotions weren’t in charge. It meant I had a choice.



The Real Problem Isn’t the Fear Itself

Woman with long hair hides face in a gray and white knit sweater, appearing shy or cold. Neutral background.

It’s how long we let it drive.


That jolt of fear is your brain doing its job—it thinks you're in danger. But after 90 seconds, if you’re still spiralling, guess what? It’s not the emotion—it’s the story you're telling about it.


So here’s what you do...


Take a Tiny Brave Step.


If you want to talk this through with the help of what I call a “Coach in your Pocket”, try the Tiny Brave Steps Generator. It’s free, powered by Chat GPT and will help you solve any problem including those that are keeping you frozen with fear.


Tiny Brave Steps are what I teach in my coaching and use in my own life. They don’t require confidence or clarity or a perfectly good day.


They just require one quiet breath… and a decision to move. That's the 90 Second rule.



How to Practice the 90-Second Rule + Take Your Tiny Brave Step

Person in pink coat and jeans playfully steps onto a curb on a city street. Background shows blurred buildings and traffic signs.

1. Feel It Fully (for 90 seconds)


Set a timer.  Let the emotion hit you like a wave—without judgment. 


Don’t try to fix it. Just feel it.


Tears, clenched fists, racing heart—whatever it brings. This is your body doing its job.


Let it move through.



2. Ask: “What Is my Fear Saying Right Now?”


Listen to that panicked voice in your head.


It might sound like:

  • “You’ll fail.”

  • “You’ll embarrass yourself.”

  • “You’re not ready.”


Recognize it.  Name it. 


And remind yourself: This is fear talking—not truth.



3. Thank Your Fear (But Don’t Let It Drive)


Talk to your Fear (I call my Fred) like the nervous protector he is: “Thank you for trying to keep me safe but I’m okay. I’m not about to die.  I can handle discomfort. You can come along for the ride but climb into the back seat because I’m the one driving.”


You’ll be amazed how this simple shift gives you back your power enabling you to calm down and take one Tiny Brave Step.


  • Hit send on the resume.

  • Write the first paragraph of that report.

  • Say the hard truth out loud—just to yourself.


This is where courage lives.


Whatever you’ve been avoiding because you're afraid - take one tiny step toward it.


…even if you’re shaking

.…even if Fred is still whispering

.…even if your voice trembles.


The bravest people you know? They feel the same fear. They’ve just learned to take action anyway.



You’re Closer Than You Think


You don’t need to have it all figured out. 


You don’t need to feel ready. 


You don’t even need to be calm.


You just need a little time, a little truth, and one small step forward.

That’s what I want to help you do.




Ready for Your Tiny Brave Step?


Woman faces chalkboard with math equations, hands on hips. Header: "The Tiny Brave Steps Generator." Mood: contemplative and determined.

Don’t forget the simple tool I created to guide you - right when fear shows up.


It’s the Tiny Brave Steps Generator. And it’s totally free.


In less than a minute, you’ll get 3 personalized, practical action steps that move you out of fear and into forward. 🔗 Click here to try it now


Because you’re not broken.

You’re not weak.

You’re brave enough to do anything you set your mind to.


90 seconds at a time.


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    Bernice McDonald Coaching

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