What Really Matters? 3 Steps to Prioritizing Your "Why"

I remember sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by sticky notes and to-do lists, feeling that gnawing sense that something was missing. The paperwork for my resignation sat among the clutter, and panic was rising inside me.

That question kept haunting me: "Who would I be if I don't work?"

For so long, my career had defined me. That steady paycheck was concrete proof of my value in the world. And now I was voluntarily giving up that identity.

Every day, I'd think about becoming a full-time coach, about writing more, about creating in ways my job wouldn't allow. 

But urgent tasks would flood in – emails to answer, training others at work, meetings and tasks – while my deeper work of building my coaching practice kept getting pushed to "someday soon."

I felt pulled in two directions, and that reliable paycheck seemed so much safer than stepping into the unknown. My fear voice – I call mine Fred – was constantly whispering that I'd be happier with that steady income, that familiar routine.

Does this sound familiar to you? That constant battle between what feels urgent and what truly matters?

Here's what I didn't fully realize then: those years can never be reclaimed. 

The people I could have helped remained unhelped. The growth I could have experienced remained unexperienced. The impact I could have created remained unrealized.

This is the hidden tax we pay when we let urgent things crowd out important ones. And it's far steeper than we care to admit - both in small, everyday ways as well as bigger, life-changing ways.

Then I did something that seemed silly at the time, but changed everything: I set my morning alarm message to say "Be a Coach."

Those three words greeted me each morning, reminding me of what truly mattered before the day's urgencies could take over. 

I began to envision the life I wanted – coaching clients, having the freedom to write and create – and wrote this vision over and over, just as I had done when seeking love after my divorce.

That Tiny Brave Step became my anchor in a sea of distractions.

What I didn't realize then was that I was instinctively solving a problem that plagues most of us – the tendency to let the urgent crowd out the important.

Nobody Should Live at the Mercy of Urgency

Instead, you can learn to prioritize what truly matters by understanding the difference between what's screaming for your attention and what quietly calls to your heart.

President Eisenhower once said, "What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important." 

This insight led to what we now call the Eisenhower Matrix – a simple but powerful tool for seeing where your time and energy really go:

• Urgent + Important = Crises that need immediate attention

• Urgent + Not Important = Interruptions that feel pressing but don't serve your purpose

• Not Urgent + Important = Activities that truly matter but aren't screaming for attention

• Not Urgent + Not Important = Distractions that neither serve your purpose nor require immediate action

Ready to reclaim your time and energy for what truly matters?

Step 1: Recognize What's Really Going On

Think about this for a minute: that "Not Urgent + Important" quadrant is where your dreams live.

That's where growth happens. That's where you become who you're meant to be.

But it's also the easiest quadrant to neglect.

When I was struggling with my career transition, I kept putting off the work that would build my coaching practice. I'd tell myself, "I'll focus on it after I handle these urgent matters." 

But the urgent matters never stopped coming.

What I didn't see was how fear was driving my choices. Fear of -

…uncertainty

…failure

…of not being enough.

Here's what happens in your body and mind: Your brain is wired to prioritize what feels urgent because, historically, urgent often meant survival. But in our modern world, urgency rarely signals true danger – it's usually just noise.

When I set my morning alarm to say "Be a Coach," I was creating a daily reminder to step into that quadrant – to prioritize what was deeply important to me, even when nothing was forcing me to do it right now.

If you don't make this shift, you'll continue living a life dictated by everyone else's priorities.

You'll reach the end of each day exhausted but without having moved forward on what matters most to you.

Step 2: Connect With Your "Why"

Without a compelling "why," it's nearly impossible to prioritize the important but not urgent. We default to whatever's making the most noise.

My "why" was clear: I wanted to help women move from "not enough" to "brave enough" because I'd walked that path myself and knew the freedom waiting on the other side. 

That purpose was worth more to me than the security of my paycheck.

Think about what matters so deeply to you that it deserves space in your life even when nothing is forcing you to give it attention. This is your compass when urgent matters try to hijack your day.

When I'm coaching women through life's hard moments, I see the power of this shift. 

One client was constantly responding to emergencies at work while her desire to make a difference with her business was lying dormant. When she connected with her deeper "why", she discovered a renewed excitement. 

And she found the courage to protect time for planning the vision and the Tiny Brave Steps it would take to get her there.

Someone else was constantly busy with all the little things that came at her in a day while her dream of writing a book gathered dust. 

When she connected with her deeper "why" – sharing wisdom she'd gained through her own painful journey – she found the courage to protect time for writing, even when emails and other “urgent” tasks were piling up.

The key is making this concrete. Write down your "why" and place it where you'll see it daily. My alarm saying "Be a Coach" was my constant reminder.

Step 3: Create Space for What Matters

Imagine what might happen if every other Tuesday morning became your non-negotiable date with your creative self. If, for 90 minutes, you sat among women who get it, who know what it means to navigate life's transitions while still honouring the call to create something meaningful.

This is what transformed my own journey – creating dedicated, protected time for my important but not urgent work.

Here's how to start:

1. Look at your calendar for next week

2. Block 2-4 hours (yes, really!) for your most meaningful "Important but Not Urgent" work

3. Treat this time as sacred – no emails, no phone calls, no exceptions

4. Begin this session by writing down your "why" and keeping it visible

5. When urgent matters arise (and they will), remind yourself: "What matters most gets my time first."

This doesn't have to be a solitary journey, either. Sometimes the most powerful way to honor your important work is through gentle accountability – a community of others who understand both your creative struggle and life's transitions.

I've found that my Creative Spaces sessions give women exactly this – a container for making progress on what truly matters with others who understand the journey.

Your Time is the Ultimate Expression of Your Values

The real question isn't "What's on your to-do list?" but "What matters enough to be part of your life story?"

No more wondering if you'll ever finish what matters to you. No more watching others with less talent make more progress simply because they're consistent.

When I finally stepped into my coaching identity, it wasn't because I suddenly had more time – it was because I made the brave choice to prioritize what mattered before life filled up with what didn't.

That's the essence of courage – not letting fear of the unknown keep you trapped in the familiar, but stepping toward what calls to your heart, even when nothing is forcing you to do so.

Take Courage into Your own Hands

What's calling to your heart today? 

What "Important but Not Urgent" work is waiting for your courageous attention?

You have something meaningful to bring to life. 

And the world needs what only you can bring to it.

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If you're ready to give yourself the gift of protected space that honours this truth, I invite you to join my twice-monthly Creative Spaces sessions where we create the structure that turns intentions into completed work.